He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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