First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
