ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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