I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
