When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
