she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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