When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
