oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
