You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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