Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
