hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
