I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
as a side note pls kill me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
