There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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