community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
