Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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