come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
