like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
