Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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