thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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