If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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