how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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