I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
