I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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