everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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