Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
