She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
