Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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