Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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