Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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