No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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