Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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