Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
