found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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