That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
two words: eviction party
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
