dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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