Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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