Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
