I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
