I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
