Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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