bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish i was in the wii world.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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