At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
