Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
