dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
