it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Vodka?
Forever.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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