you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I am midnight drunk by noon
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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