I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
