i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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