just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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