So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
