just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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