I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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