I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
operation harelip BJ is a go
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
