We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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