I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
